By Amber C. Snider
Feeling blocked in love? Unsure of what you want? Tired of the same old conflicts with your partner and need some clarity? A Love Uncrossing spell may help...
Love, along with money, is always on everyone’s mind. After facing our own mortality through the pandemic, the question of Who do I truly want to spend my days with? takes top priority.
Whether you’re currently partnered up or still celebrating that single life, navigating the wild throes of romantic love can be a challenge (am I right or am I right?). But love is the driving force behind everything; It’s the fabric of the universe. Still for many, it can feel elusive, frustrating, confusing.
During this time, some of you may have found out that the person you’ve aligned your heart with isn’t truly your ride or die; or maybe you’ve uncovered insurmountable incompatibility issues that the pandemic highlighted and exacerbated; or maybe during the dark hours of isolation, you realized that your heart hungers for love more than ever. If so, a Love Uncrossing spell may be called for.
Let’s get something out of the way right off the bat: candle magick does not and cannot make someone fall in love with you. It doesn’t work like that, so don’t bother trying it (yeah, that means you) – it will backfire. It’s manipulative. It goes against free will. True love is a divine force, it’s an authentic emotion that can’t be duplicated or forced. What you can do, however, is use candle magick to clear the path to love, help offer clarity in an existing relationship, and usher in positivity, romance, better sex, and the conditions that can bring about healthy love with the right person. In a way, it’s like setting a stage, telling the Universe you’re ready, and getting clear on what you want in a partner.
If you’re in a committed relationship, before you do any love magick, you should get consent from your partner. Novel thought, right? Consent in a relationship, sex, and yes magick, is always extremely important. If you don’t want to discuss it with your partner, you should probably consider why you’re with them in the first place. If you’re really not comfortable sharing your magickal workings with your partner (maybe it’s a new relationship, etc), consider trying a spell to manifest self-love instead.
If you’re single, rather than focus on ‘getting your ex back’ or forcing your crush or lifelong love to fall for you, focus your spell on clearing the path to love and getting specific about the type of partner you want. Once you do that, you’ll most likely find them show up in the most mysterious way. However manifesting your perfect partner is very different than forcing/manipulating someone to fall for you – so be specific about qualities and circumstances, not an individual person.
Now that we’ve gotten that out of the way, let’s talk about one of the most popular candles at Enchantments: Love Uncrossing. You may already be familiar with Uncrossing (here and here). How it works with matters of love is that it clears the way for positive love. According to long-time Enchantments' witch Carmen Pouerie, “The purpose of a Love Uncrossing is to clear the road to and from your heart. It clears negative energy, past emotional hurt, and any miscommunication that was occurring in an existing relationship. It also brings clarity to what one wants in a relationship, closes old wounds and opens the heart to new things.”
"For a [consenting] couple, it works by clearing negative energy and bringing people together – or for a single person, it can allow them to determine what they need in a partner,” adds Pouerie. If you’re not sure exactly what you’re looking for, or what your underlying relationship problems are, or what solutions you can take to help an existing relationship, that's when a Love Uncrossing may help.
A Love Uncrossing candle (or the kit version here) is more about release than healing. “It’s more of releasing previous assumptions about true love, because a lot of the time the ideas we have are different from the reality of what is. So we have to bring ourselves back to reality so that we can be clear about our intentions,” says Pouerie.
“What we want from people [especially romantic partners] changes on a regular basis and finding someone who’s comfortable with that change is key. So [a love uncrossing spell] helps you figure out what you need to change. And once you realize why you want or need this thing, most of the time your vibration will immediately raise.”
How do you do a Love Uncrossing anyway?
As with all candle magick, we recommend taking a sea salt or epsom salt bath before you begin. Then write out a list: "You don’t want to focus on what’s going wrong, you want to focus on how you want it to go. You want to bring in the energy as if there’s nothing in its way,” adds Pouerie. “If money was no object, what would you want? If options and choices and human biology weren’t in the mix, what would you choose?” Same goes for manifesting new love or clearing the way for love.
Get comfortable, focus on your intention, write out your list (if that’s in your practice), do whatever helps you raise energy (listen to music, dance, sing, pray, etc.), and then light the candle. Leave it burning until the candle is completely finished. If you’re uncomfortable with it burning when you’re not at home, simply put out the flame and refocus on your intention when you relight it again. A 7-day candle burns for (you guessed it) roughly 7 days, while the small kit version burns for 7-12 hours. If the glass gets hot towards the bottom, keep it in a small dish of cool water to prevent cracking.
Follow-up your Love Uncrossing spell with something empowering, like an Empress candle, Solar Blast candle, Love and Happiness candle, Crystal Healing candle, Bad Ass oil, Self-Love/Empowerment Kit, Love Attraction Kit, or a Sexual Attraction Kit.
Here are some oils, incense blends, and baths to assist in your Love Uncrossing Spell:
Love Uncrossing incense, bath, and oil: Clears negativity and blocks surrounding love in individuals or in relationships. Works to reveal the truth about a relationship - can clear the way for two people to be together or can indicate that it is time to move on.
Erzuli La Flambeau Oil: Good for love uncrossing
Erzuli Femme Blanche Oil: Invokes the Loa in her purest form to help heal love issues on a higher plane.
Love Clarity oil: Helps one sort through emotional issues.
Goona Goona oil and incense: Creates an atmosphere of trust & understanding; facilitates communication between people.
*Descriptions taken from Enchantmentsincnyc.com store here.
Like what you just read? For more tips on general candle magick, check out this section of the site here.